Why adopt?

This has been a post that I have been thinking about writing for a long time, and I'm not really sure why it has taken me this long.  I think I was afraid I wouldn't have the right words, or that all of the thoughts in my head would not come out right when written down.  I was also afraid that I might offend some people, so please know that nothing I say below is meant to be offensive, or to put down others who have chosen adoption for reasons other than our reasons.  We know adoption is a personal decision and  that everyone chooses adoption for a different reason, all of which are justified and equally as important as ours...this is just OUR story.  

So, WHY?!?  This is one of the first questions we often get when we tell people we are adopting.  We absolutely love talking about our decision to adopt and are actually happy to answer this question and to share our story with whoever might want to listen.

First things first...adoption is not a "last option" for us. We are not adopting because we "can't" have children, we are adopting because we feel called to adopt!   Mark and I have talked about adoption for a long time, even before we got married.  We always knew it would be a part of our life story, we just didn't realize we would be having the adoption conversation in our late twenties early thirties.  We imagined that adoption was something that we would do after having a few biological children, maybe in our late thirties.  God had an entirely different plan for us, and we are so glad that He did.

*Side note, I know many people do adopt because they can not have children and for others it may be a "plan B", please don't feel that I'm judging...I'm not....for us though, that is just not the case* 

I truly believe that God makes no mistakes.  He has placed us exactly where we are meant to be at this time in our lives.  He led us to a Church that has a huge focus on orphan care and many adoptive families.  He placed adoptive families in our lives, and when we didn't get the hint He placed even more adoptive families in our lives.  Mark's dad was adopted when he was young, my step-mom has a special adoption story of her own, my niece Bella was adopted as an infant, Gabriela (who I have babysat for the past 7+ years) was adopted from Guatemala  and our neighbors just adopted the most beautiful baby girl, Daphne.  God has been doing some serious work in our hearts for adoption, and we didn't even realize it!

I wish I could say that we saw God's "signs" from the first moment adoption entered our lives, but of course we had our own plans and thought we were in charge of our own destiny.  When we decided that we were ready to discuss having kids, we focused that discussion on biological kids.  After we tried for a while, we had to face a choice.  Proceed with more advanced medical options or reconsider our plan.  Believe me, I know there are many ways to have a baby, I've thought about all of them and prayed about all of them, and adoption has just really stuck out in my mind as the way we are to have a baby at this point.  Let me be clear, we have absolutely nothing against fertility procedures.  We tried a few basic things, and I always just felt that it wasn't right for us.  I must say that through this process, we were surrounded by the absolute best friends and family in the whole world.  Had God not placed those people in our lives at that time, who knows where we would be.   Our friends, families, and small group were there to listen to us bounce ideas around, provide support when needed, and support us regardless of what decision we made. 

By deciding to proceed with adoption, it does not mean that we are settling!  Its quite the opposite.  We are so very excited to add to our family through adoption, we truly believe that this is God's plan for us at this time.  Would we like to add to our family through biological kids some day too?  Sure, why not!  We would love to have a houseful of both biological and adoptive kids.  We do not favor one way of adding to our family over another; both are such special ways to bring a child into a family.  Through adoption we have the opportunity to bring a child into our lives in a way that most people never will.  Many people may not understand, much in the way that those of us who have not given birth to a baby may not understand that.

Not only does adoption feel like a "calling" for us, something that God placed on our hearts and really worked through our hearts to make a reality.  But it is also a perfect picture of the Gospel.  God adopted us into his family as sons and daughters.  Jesus died for our sins so that we could have an everlasting relationship with God, our Father.   How could we ignore our calling to do the same thing, on a much smaller scale.  To bring a child into our home, to provide them with unconditional love, to bring them up in the Church to know their Heavenly Father.   James 1:27 calls us to care for the orphans and the widows - We are so excited about sharing the love of God with the birth family, with our baby, and with everyone who feels touched by our story.  We are adopting first and foremost to glorify God.  Yes, we will gain with a child, yes our family will be more complete, but we will also bring praise and glory to God's name, and that's really what its all about!

Reading through blogs a few months ago, I found this one from one of our Pastors, Danny Franks, at The Summit Church.  He and his wife adopted a baby girl a little over a year ago and were one of the many Summit members who were motivation for us in this process.  This whole post is awesome, but this part really resonated with me.  I think he outlined the call to adopt  perfectly 
"Adoption isn’t something you do because of romanticized notions of adding to your family. Adoption is something you do because you’re convinced that God called you to care for the orphan. It’s that calling that gives you strength. It’s that calling that helps you persevere. It’s that calling that helps you understand that you too are adopted, you too are strong willed, you too are a hot mess that God still loves unconditionally" (http://dannyfranks.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/year-one/)   

Thanks for hanging in there, it was a long post.  I promise to finish up my monthly recaps (and then hopefully do a 2012 recap), with pictures very soon!