The tough days are those days when you realize how badly you want for your baby to come home. That there is a spot in your heart just waiting for that baby, and that empty spot physically aches the longer you wait. With pregnancy there is a count down, you know roughly when your new baby will arrive. With adoption there is no count down...it could happen today, it could happen next month, it could happen next year! The wait can be good, it gives you time to get the nursery ready, pick out a daycare, save money, spend time as just a family of two, and really prepare our hearts to be parents. But the wait can be hard, it can be excruciating it can be sad, it can be lonely, but the wait is part of God's plan!
On those tough days, when I'm feeling sorry for myself and wishing that I could control my own destiny, I'm reminded of Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope". What a blessing to know that I don't need to be anxious about my lack of control in this situation, because I am NOT supposed to be in control. God is in control, He knows exactly which baby is going to be joining our family and His timing is perfect! A friend, who is also waiting to adopt, recently reminded me that God had our babies chosen long before we even made the decision to adopt. I know all of this is True, and although the road is still difficult at times, this gives me peace in the process.
So what do I do on those tough days? I come home and spend time with my amazing husband and awesome puppies! That always seems to make everything better :)
You are so patient Jenn! I rarely hear you complain or say that it is hard to wait for your baby. But that doesn't mean you don't have hard days. I agree - the not-knowing-when probably makes it harder. Know that I am praying for you AND for your baby to come soon! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura, we really appreciate the prayers. It really brings a greater sense of peace to know that others are praying for us too! I'm so thankful for your friendship!
DeleteWhat I love about adopted children is that instead of growing in their mommy's tummy, they get to grow in their mommy's heart! You're right: God is sovereign and has a beautiful story written for your sweet little one. He has even seen Baby Harrill's face and knows his or her name. He is holding your baby in his arms until it is time for you to snuggle with that little bundle of love. It's a joy to see you and Mark live out the gospel by adopting a baby in the same way that God has adopted us as sons and daughters. You two are special friends and I cannot wait until you're a family of three! But.. until that time... I'll join you in praying for your precious little one!
ReplyDeleteMorgan, you're so right, there is something very special about growing in my heart! Thanks for your sweet words and your prayers! I know that God hears all of our prayers and its nice to have people interceding on our behalf! So glad to have you in our lives, you are an awesome friend to both of us!
Delete